I can't do anything that's everything all on my own

I am in my room with my thoughts as my sole companion and I cannot describe how incandescently gratified I am at the moment. It’s been an absolute tumultuous week and my feet have been threatening to stop functioning. Looking after the poorly is very energy consuming. My working hour’s starts very early in the morning, as early as 2am and continues throughout the whole day till night, round the clock. I don’t really mind the long hours but what I do mind is whining patients or what I really meant was.. whining 7 year olds. This particular 7 year old happens to whine about everything. From medicine, eating, drinking even the act of soaking his feet in Epson salt starts up with a whine and ends in a bloody whimper. And this just drives me bloody batty. Even a bloody sick 3 year old is not giving me this much grieve. See how many ‘bloody’ there is already? I am starting to get really, really miff. There goes my ‘incandescently gratified moment’ out the window. Grrr.

What I need is a trip to a pastoral countryside, inhaling clean crisp air and gentle breeze caressing my face. I just find great discomfort in being tailed after everywhere I go. And I do not respond very well to clingy and attention craving being. I feel like I’m being smothered all over and surprisingly not by my own son who happens to be under the weather too. Staying calm and collected is starting to get really arduous. But since I value my sanity more than anything else, I am doing my best to keep things under control. I entreated all the positive energy out there to enfold my mind and keep it encased until this hurdle is over. I can’t believe a 7 year old is causing all this lamentation. I never thought I could get more frivolous than this. Damn.

However, today is the first day of Ramadhan and I only have pleasant thoughts for today. It will be a better day, hopefully. I intend to get as much rest and rejuvenate my aching body. Dying to go for a deep intense massage but I should know very well that it won’t be possible at the moment. Apart from this, I do feel that things have been made easy for me. I was actually quite distraught thinking about nunu’s circumcision but thank god he was already his usual self the very next day. And he hasn’t been a bother at all. I kept him clean as best as I could as I shuddered at the possibility of an infection. Alhamdulillah, he is back on track and already dragooning the household. Every day I look forward to his endless levity. He has just got a tendency of blurting out a wisecrack unknowingly. Lol.

Right, I’ve a strong urge to apologize for this entry is again, a messy one. My entries are mirrors to my thoughts, you see. And lately, my thoughts are cut and paste excerpts of many things. A gamut of things from A to Z but an exegesis is not quite necessary. It’ll be a traumatic experience for you if you knew what goes on in my bloody thick skull. I think today’s ramblings should end here. I am starting to sound completely doltish and my heavy lids are in need of some rest. Take care, everyone and have a pleasant week ahead! xxx

my brave little soldier :)

Lost in the middle of nowhere

Bonjour everyone! Blog was temporarily abandoned due to a riotous schedule that was threatening to go on a bloody rampage unless I sorted everything out first. And now here I am, supposedly settled with thoughts brimming with many things to write, only that is not the case. My brain has refused to come up with a theory to explain this void in my brain and I find it utterly irksome. Therefore, this entry will not be on anything specific, rather it will be random ramblings of things that I managed to salvage from my malfunctioning and almost dying brain.


It’s been a good week so far. Good news should never shy away from me, I think. Nunu has been his robust self and very much enjoying himself here. I can’t say the same for his papa though, although he has ended his kitchen illiteracy upon my absence. He managed to stir up a prawn dish on the stove without turning the house into ashes which flabbergasted the life out of me. Note to self; should come back more often myself then. Don’t get me wrong, I love going on a vacation as a family but I prefer coming home myself with nunu. It’s the only time I get to spend super quality time with my folks and also the only time I get to savour the feeling of being their not so little girl. And I am immensely fortunate to have someone as my other half who understands my needs very well.


I grew up thinking long distance relationships are to no avail but now, I beg to differ. I find it rather sweet how he makes it a point to catch me on skype every day. Once I found out from my uncle that he declined my uncle’s offer to have dinner so that he could rush home to talk to me. One thing you should know about my other half is, he never says no to food. Ever. Although he is atrocious with words i.e. he doesn’t smoulder me with satiny words and it might appear as though his emotions has dried out (hati kering) but I have learned to overlook that and converge my attention towards his actions. Like the old proverb that goes – action speaks louder than words. Pardon me, I am feeling quite histrionic tonight. I blame it on my looming 5th year wedding anniversary this Saturday. Time didn’t fly. It rocketed off actually, and left me in a vertiginous state.


Speaking of time, it has propelled me forward inconspicuously. I keep entering and exiting different phases of life in a fleet of a moment. I haven’t a problem with that only I find it impossible to cherish each moment without feeling slightly frazzled. But I am not complaining. I’ve been insouciant for far too long and I think it’s about time to press on the clutch paddle and motion into gear 5. Leisure and I had a momentous relationship but soon the time will come for us to depart. Thinking of it now is my causing my once placid heart to agitate. Excuse the mawkishness, I am merely exercising my writing skills and I implore on you to stop rolling your eyes already. Anyway, tomorrow will yet be another monumental day for me. My favourite little person will be circumcised and I can’t help but to feel slightly solicitous about it. I hope things will go smoothly for him, god willingly.


Fasting month will be knocking on the door soon and I cannot imagine for the life of me how hectic and turbulent it shall be. My two grandmas will be joining us for ramadhan and I shall be the person in charge when my parents fly off to Saudi for umrah. I am veraciously excited to have them both here with me and I know it will be a memorable time for all of us, god willingly. Finally, time has arrived for me to end this disarrayed entry. Ramadhan Mubarak to all muslims out there and take care, everyone! xxx

we can't wait to see you, baby!