Haphazardness

Common dialogues between house mates

Situation 1

House mate A : What's your say in this? I don't really know what to think..

House mate B : Hmm..I'll tell you what I think.........................(starts snoring)

Situation 2

House mate A : Do you like what I made today?

House mate B : It's alright.

House mate A : How would you rate it between 1 – 10? (tak puas hati ni)

House mate B : I don't rate. (continues munching)

Situation 3

House mate B : So what are you making tomorrow? (while having dinner talking between mouthfuls)

House mate A : *rolls eyes* Just finish your dinner.

Situation 4

House mate A : What would you do if I died first?

House mate B : I'd bury you, obviously..what else?

House mate A : terbodoh.

Nope, not complaining. I have the best house mate in the entire world. All in the sole name of good jest :) Anyway, I am quite elated today. Expecting some surprises through the post and I cannot wait! Nunu has been tugging my heart quite a bit these days. My eyes tend to get watery every now and then. It has been less than a month since he started school and the progress he has made is.. absolutely prodigious. Mashallah. I applaud the school for instilling such values in him. He now memorises a few duas, daily islamic terms and even al-fatihah. There was an instance when he actually said to me ; Mummy, don't forget to say Inshallah! Lol. I wish I could have all these moments recorded. Sigh. Anyway, now comes the end of my never ending jumbled up entry. I wish everyone a good week ahead and take care :) xx

Tangibilities and other things

Dear Topsie-turvie,

There is a solid reason why I gifted you with that name. The events in my life, be it fortunate or not are disarrayed and always in a topsy turvily manner hence the name. Conjuring the days when I brought you into this world, things were so.. different. I haven't the right words to vividly portray how different things were then but it is. Not in a shady light of negativity, I simply must grow accustom to these changes in my life.

You know Topsie-turvie, sometimes without knowing, my feelings are numbed and I trudge on the ground not feeling anything. When that happens, I would try my hardest to relinquish the numbness and find a way to feel again. I haven't the slightest idea why this is happening. Every time I get passionate about something, I would always do a mental draft and stash it in the recesses of my mind, promising myself to write about it. But after a while, it gets muddled up with my other peculiar thoughts thus making it in the end sort of... intangible. I get really gutted you see, cos I remembered how the excitement felt and the feeling still lingers within but sadly, I lost the vigour to word it down.

Which explains the brazen void from August till well..now. Someone told me I should carry a little notebook and jot things down when I chance upon something that sparks my interest. Certainly not a bad idea and maybe I should give it a try. It is quite worrying especially now that I've started my course. I am expected to construe poetry, paintings, literary text etc. freely and with my current problem, it would be a great hindrance in the future. I need to be passionate of my surroundings again and be more of a thinker rather than an empty bulldozer that tramples on the earth without an inkling of things.

Not only that, I have enclosed myself in this self created shell that is holding me back from the things I would actually enjoy doing. Today I got an email stating that there would be an event hosted by the university on how to interpret art pieces held in the museum. My first reaction towards this email was so negative. I was already cringing at the thought of socialising and having to make an impressive impression of myself to everyone. And all the hoity toity beings I would have to suck up to. Then I looked at the time of the event, and a spontaneous sigh of relief slipped trough my lips. I wouldn't be able to make it due to the unavoidable school runs! I thought to myself, what a great excuse!

Then again, who am I deceiving hey? This negative behaviour of mine is flustering to say the least. How did I become such a recluse? I cannot think of an occasion where I was actually glad being in a roomful of people and socialising away! Sigh. I just can't fathom this wariness I have towards people. I even find thinking about it exhausting already. I wish there was a pill to treat such a detrimental disease for people like me. Anyway, I think it's time to catch up on some very much needed sleep. My brain is over processing at the moment and I cannot afford to be brain dead tomorrow. I still have an essay to write about Paul Cezanne's The House of the Hanged Man and all I could say about the painting now is – My three year old son can paint better than that.

Have a great week everyone! xx

Teddy turns 31

My permanent housemate Teddy, of five phenomenal-euphoric-crazy years has turned thirty one! This year's birthday celebration was nothing like the previous year. This year was such a monumental birthday, for Teddy had the absolute joy of scrubbing the toilet bowl, bleaching the bath tub and doing the laundry. It was indeed a joyous moment for Teddy when he saw the gleaming bathroom and the clothes washed and dried. Contentment filled up his soft teddy-like heart and he was such in a convivial mood!


Moments after the laborious hard work, Teddy heard a funny sound that sounded like a rumble. He wondered where that sound came from not knowing that it was coming from his own tummy. Poor Teddy, he was really quite famished! Being the nice, thoughtful and loving housemate that I am, I treated Teddy to Pizza Hut. Teddy ate to his heart's content and rubbed his full tummy contently. His chin was covered with breadcrumbs and he had the most blissful expression plastered on his chubby face. He muttered words of appreciation for the treat and grinned happily.


The next day, it occurred to me that I did not even get Teddy a birthday cake! It gave me such a rueful feeling inside. Though Teddy never complained, but I thought of doing something nice for him once in a while. I was meaning to bake a cake for him but never had the chance to. Right after circuit training, I went to the cake shop and got Teddy a slice of strawberry cheesecake -  a favourite of his.When I got home, he was quite surprised when he saw it. About five seconds later, he gave me a tiny shy smile. Teddy has always been little with words but deep inside, I knew his teddy-like heart was blooming - still is I think. He's been washing up the dishes and very much in a lively mood!


I'm glad I've made Teddy's day. It might not be an elaborate birthday for Teddy, but I think it is sufficient  for him to know that he is still very much cherished after all these years. We enjoyed the little private moments together and most importantly, I am glad Teddy is still my 'housemate' and I pray that he will always be till the day death do us apart. Quite impossible to live with but I truly, most definitely cannot live without :)

Teddy and Troll :)